8.28.25 | From Self-Doubt to Self-Growth | Conquering Imposter Syndrome

Kristeen Barth

I'm going to take this off. I think your audio is going to be through that camera.

Holly Smithson

Okay, great. Hello, everyone. Hello, hello. Welcome and good evening to the fabulous world of Pfizer. Pretty nice digs here. Really delighted to have all of you come here this evening. My name is Holly Smithson. I'm a Athena's President and CEO, and we have a really exciting agenda tonight, which is obviously why you're all here. But I want to talk to you a little bit about this thing called imposter syndrome. And I remember the first time I heard that word and I thought, syndrome, is that something temporary or is that something like a chronic disease? And what I learned is that 80% of women have experienced some degree of imposter syndrome. In other words, not feeling good enough for where they are. Whereas men experience about 50% of the time. And it's interesting because when women are experiencing the imposter syndrome, they feel it much more intensely. And so that's one element to consider, whereas men will just suppress it, internalize it, and they mask it with overconfidence. So it's a really interesting, if you're into sociology or psychology, it's really interesting to see how the difference between men and women when battling this sense of I'm not good enough, which, by the way, is a human condition.

Holly Smithson

But it's just being educated about that it exists and then asking yourself, is this syndrome, whenever we may feel it, is it working to my advantage or is it really holding me back and allowing me to contribute in the level that I'm capable of. So we're really excited about having this program. We have a top-notch presenter to talk about the topic and really unpack what the opportunities are in facing the syndrome. And then for all of you to walk away from tonight's program. There's some really great workshop elements to the evening, but figure out where you are on that spectrum when you do dance with a syndrome. So that way you can master it and not have it go the other way around. So I also want to just tell you today is Women's Equality Day. So obviously, we fought really, really hard for the right to vote. And so I just want to acknowledge that in this room in this moment, certainly in this time in history where there are efforts circulating to take that away from women in this administration. So it is a wild, wild time and a very consequential time in our history.

Holly Smithson

And I will tell you that from my mouth to your ears, Athena is not going anywhere. This platform is not going anywhere. And I want you all to take this very personal invitation from me to really lean into this community because it's times like now, times like these, that we really have to understand and appreciate the value of community. I will also say that there are peaks and there are valleys and all progress, and we are going into the valley, but we're going to do it with the same tenacity and the same grit and the same brilliance that we do every other challenge that we have faced in recent history. So with I want to introduce Lucy Horton, who is a wonderful, wonderful leader of this organization. She is obviously worked with Pfizer, but she also is a great champion for women's and women's leadership and her role on the committees program committees, a life science committee, and opened up the Pfizer headquarters to make sure we had a really welcoming and inviting experience tonight. Lucy, thank you always for your partnership. I'm going to come up and have a few introductory remarks.

Lucy Horton

Thanks, Holly. They're great.

Holly Smithson

Thank you.

Lucy Horton

Really appreciate the kind words and inspirational message. These are interesting times. And I can say that we're really thankful that Pfizer has stuck with one of our core values of equity and supporting all of our colleague resource groups. And so I'm really proud to be co-leading our PWR or Pfizer Women's Group here in La Hoya with Charvi. Raise your hand. And the slide here just shows some of the events we've had this year. And for a newer chapter, we reinvigorated last year after a pause during the pandemic. And so we're always looking for volunteers and open to new ideas as well. I want to thank everybody from the community who's come tonight. And I know many of you work with your company's resource groups. And so thank you for all you do. And with that, I think I'm going to pass it back to Holly to introduce Christine. Great. Okay.

Kristeen Barth

Thank you. Thank you. Okay, we're going to get started here, and I'm going to make sure the camera is right. We can see my screen. What are we doing? Yeah. Okay. I'm like Wilson over the fence here. Yeah, that's it because I'm not very tall. You all know that now that you can see me here. Okay. I'm going to write up this very gently. I've got chocolate cake on the bottom of this for later. All right. Is it possible to have both screens with the slides? Yes or no? I don't know what our tech team is. Well, thank you. All right. So tonight we're going to talk about From Self Doubt to Self Growth: Conquering Imposter Syndrome. And as Holly mentioned, this is a really big topic, and I don't think it goes away. As I experienced, even going into creating this content, my own little imposter syndrome, the experience here of just, who am I to speak about this? All that stuff has come up for me, too. A little bit about me as we get started. So I love to hike. I love to be outside. I love to travel. Holly, we just talked about a little bit of travel.

Kristeen Barth

This was a great trip. I highly recommend an opportunity to spend some time in New Zealand. It's my husband and I looking over Wanneca viewpoint. And we camper-vanned around the South Island, which was amazing. Molly and Tobi and Frank, those are our children. So that's that. And then a little bit about my work background. So I started my career in IT. I started in telecommunications. I then moved on to consumer packaged goods, spent some time with Mattel and also with American Girl. So dolls. Yeah, it was really fun. And then my husband and I decided we wanted to move to California. And that's where I started with Encore Capital Group, which is how I found Athena, which is wonderful. So financial services. And all of that has led me to now, which is owning my own business and doing that full-time. So I support leaders, individuals and organizations, teams to create a healthier relationship with their work, to find success on their terms, to really understand what it means for them, and to quiet some of that imposter syndrome and pave your way. So I'm excited to be here. So a little arrival and grounding.

Kristeen Barth

I'd like to start. If you have something in your hands and you're willing to relinquish that for just a moment, I'd love to take a few beats here to settle into into our space and just get grounded and present here. Hopefully, you enjoyed some networking. You enjoyed the lovely spread of food for those of you that are on Zoom. Hopefully, you've had a moment to refresh yourself between work and here. Let's take a few breaths together. You're welcome to close your eyes. Just soften your gaze. Exhale everything out. Take a deep breath in, fill up through your belly, your ribs, your chest. Open mouth, exhale. Do one more round of that together. Deep breath in, filling up all the way to the top. And exhale. From here, feel your feet On the floor, your legs in your chair, your spine nice and tall. Maybe you can imagine there's a string pulling from the crown of your head all the way up to the ceiling. Your chin level. Feel the circumference of you, the space you embody, the space you take up, the space you deserve to take up. Give yourself the gift of being completely present here for the next hour hour and a half.

Kristeen Barth

Let go of any to-do list that you have. Know that it'll be there when we're done. It always is. But you signed up for this. You wanted to do this, you knew it was going to be important for you. So be fully here. As thoughts come up about what you need to do next, let them go. Let them float on by and just be here. The work that you're about to do today, tonight, is work for you, and it's also an incredible gift to the communities that you're a part of. Every time we work on ourselves, we our community and the people we engage with. When you're ready, you can open your eyes and come back into this space. Yeah. Welcome. So imposter syndrome. Who wants to throw a definition or your take on what imposter syndrome is? Anybody on Zoom or anyone in the room? What is imposter syndrome to you? Yeah. So you don't deserve. Yeah. Yeah. A fraud. Yeah, for sure. That word comes up a lot with imposter syndrome. Yeah, a fraud. So most of us, you probably signed up because you're like, Yeah, I feel this. I've experienced it maybe many times.

Kristeen Barth

Maybe I'm experiencing it right now. I think most of us can probably think of an area in our life where we're experiencing it in this moment. If If we let our thoughts go there. Oh, yeah. The constant back and forth of... Sometimes I find imposter syndrome feels like a little bit of a dance. One moment, I'm over here like, There's no way I can do this. Then I also get a spark of strength. I got this, and then I'm back, and I'm back. It can feel really back and forth, maybe unsettling. How do I make some good forward momentum with this? Paula, you mentioned this syndrome, right? Like, Oh, it's a chronic disease maybe, or like, can I ever get rid of it? Is there a cure? Do I go to the doctor? What does he or she have to say? So imposter syndrome, Adam Grant has this wonderful shift around this, which is shifting over to imposter thoughts, that it is not something that we just have or are, which I think is really great. So it's something It's something that you may experience. It's something that lives in the gap between others' beliefs and your beliefs.

Kristeen Barth

So some of that fraud, right? That others may think that you're capable of something Maybe you've been signed up for a project or I don't know. Sometimes I wonder if parents think this since I don't have human children. Can I do this? Now I have a baby. What am I supposed to do? Who thought I could handle this? So your thoughts, the opposing views of those in the middle there is those imposter thoughts. And again, they're not who you are. But Adam Grant likes to think about them as fuel for growth, that we can shift from They are a syndrome, a problem, a diagnosis to how do we use them to move us forward. I'd like you to think about An area where you're currently experiencing imposter syndrome. I want to make tonight tangible for you, so you have something to walk away with. So think about an area where you are feeling maybe those recurring second-guessing thoughts. Where am I a fraud? Where do I notice some doubt showing up? So think about that. And then each of you should have a worksheet. There's a little place on the top of the worksheet where you can write down your area of focus.

Kristeen Barth

And as you think about that area of focus, I also want you to think about why it's important that you stay with it, why you're not just running away from that? Why does it keep coming back up for you? Why is it important to you? So think about what your area of focus is, something you want to workshop tonight, and then why. And then we're going to move into a breakout in a moment and just share that. So jot down your notes. So Annalisa, in a moment here, you can move them into breakouts. In the room here, what we're going to do tonight is you're going to work in groups of three. So I'd like you to find, you can turn behind you, next to you. But I I want you to find groups of three that you're going to work with throughout the evening. You can get up and move around if you'd like to. Maybe you're sitting next to somebody you work with a lot and you'd like to switch it up. There's some spaces between some of you, so find your community. Yes. Yeah. Great. Annalisa, have you moved them into breakouts?

Kristeen Barth

I've got to need to put it. Well. Maybe tell me a date when it comes. It's okay. They'll be in there for like, let's just say, Okay, you can do it. I'm going to be in there. I'm going to put this back in for all this too. I'm ready to talk. I'm ready to answer. Let's go. We're going to

Kristeen Barth

For those of you that have questions about what we're doing in your triad, you're simply just going to share what is your area focus and why it's important to you, and just an opportunity for each one of you to share with each other, just voice that. That is it. There's no fixing, doing, solving. You just say, this is my area focus, here's why it's important to me. And then in a couple of minutes, we'll come back. That's good. You still need to.

Kristeen Barth

I was thinking, I'm not a cop, so it's called, is that what it is. It's the place 519 Street, out of the West. It's not this art. It's seeing how the view of conflict within that school page. It's not that important. It's not. I love that. So it's a little bit of a mix. And I got to get to my next step. I also wanted to try to see if it was thinking, I'm not going to say that. Remember, it's in the same situation as that, that's what it was in the line by. So, right? It's good. I was about to say, I'm not going to say that. I'm just doing my stuff. Okay? Yeah. So I'm just saying, I'm going to call this a bit of a song. Okay. And I'm not going to be meant to. Well, we need to still, we never did this. I have to dig in. I'm not going to focus on that.

Holly Smithson

I'm not going to And then we'll be glad we're not sitting. And we'll be happy with this. Exactly. It's exactly what I'm asking. What's going to be good? It's just the same thing. It's like this, everybody gets ready. That's it. You're talking. You're getting to the final piece. I'm just trying to get away. It's a minute. Now, I have two minutes. It's a bit of pain, isn't it? Well, I can get it.

Kristeen Barth

I

Kristeen Barth

So we have about 45 seconds left. Yeah, I think that's it. I know. I've been there. Yeah. Yeah. It's modern. It's not too much.

Holly Smithson

Two doors up.

Kristeen Barth

All right, we'll come back. I know there's never We have enough time in the breakout rooms. We'll come back. I know I'm going to keep talking. We have more chances to talk. Thank you very much for sharing your focus area. I think it's a big step to start to speak what it is that we want. Have that clarity, but also just to be able to speak it in community to hear what others are wanting. So I really appreciate that. Naming where you want to grow is really a powerful step. And as I mentioned, others' beliefs about what you're capable of, your beliefs in the middle of that is that imposter syndrome, those thoughts that are coming up. This is the area we're like, I'm starting to hear some hesitation, some doubts. So getting them on paper can be really powerful. One way to lessen the grip on the inner critic is to separate that voice from you. Sometimes we hear it so often, so frequently that it can feel like it is you. So I'd like you to think about what is that voice actually saying? What are the specific words that you hear on your worksheet?

Kristeen Barth

There's a spot there for inner critic thoughts. And I really want you to jot down, maybe it's one, two, three, I don't know, at least one, like something you hear repeatedly in your mind that is creeping in on repeat, holding you down, having you maybe spiral. So if you could write that down, I'll give you a couple of minutes for that. I'll just jot that down.

Kristeen Barth

As we continue to separate this voice from you and discern what's me and what's this inner critic voice, I'd love for you to play with the idea of naming your inner critic. Maybe it's something playful or descriptive, or maybe there's a character that comes to mind. I want you to think about how you can name it. This is another way to really separate it from yourself. In the positive intelligence work, a model that I work with around inner critic, inner leader, we have this idea of these inner voices having patterns. In this model, like primary colors, they've been reduced down to 10 inner critiques. I offer this to you as a way to maybe play with a name that might come up for you. If something here resonates for you, fantastic. If you've got another name you'd like to choose, that works too. For example, we have the Judge at the bottom here. The judge is the harsh critical voice. There's just this harsh critical voice that comes up. But there's also at the top, we have the guy with the bag over his head. That's someone who's avoiding. So let me avoid this discomfort.

Kristeen Barth

This appears a victim. It draws attention through suffering. Maybe if people see me suffer, then somebody will finally care. You don't have to like it, but it might be the voice that's showing up for you. Perfectionist, chasing the next thing. So this idea of being restless, maybe you or someone you know is like, we're just always looking for the next thing. So I invite you just to find some words or a name that might resonate for you as you just label that inner voice. So if you look at what you wrote down, you might see some similarities. From here, now Now that you've written down your inner critic's words, and maybe even given it a name, we're going to take this a step further by sharing in your triads again. The reason why we share in a group is because I think that when we are experiencing this imposter syndrome, these imposter thoughts, we tend to think we're really alone. We're all by ourselves in this. And I found this quote the other day and I loved it. Yes. Alfred Adler is best known for developing a theory of individual psychology, which emphasizes the social context of human behavior and the importance of striving for superiority.

Kristeen Barth

He describes that as competence and self-improvement. I thought that fit really well in here because most of us, if we felt really competent, probably wouldn't experience these thoughts. But in light of that, we are here because we want self-improvement. He also pointed the term inferiority complex. I think this matches up really nicely with what Adam Grant was saying. It highlights how feelings of inadequacy can actually motivate individuals to overcome challenges. So we don't have to take it as a diagnosis that is a problem. We can take this as fuel for growth. So sharing in groups, my intention here is for you to be able to see that you're not alone and find some of those similarities. You're going to find some differences, but I bet you'll find a couple through lines. So in your groups, I'd like each of you to take a minute or two to share the words your inner critic uses. What is that line that you just keep hearing? Maybe you'll choose to share the name if you came up with one. And as you listen in your group, you don't need to offer any advice. You don't need to fix anything.

Kristeen Barth

We are whole as we are. We don't need fixing. Yeah. So just listen, just be with your partners, with your community, and be a witness to what they're experiencing. After you've shared, after each one of you have taken a minute or two, so think about the time, so you don't have to go into a whole bunch of description about why this voice shows up and all the whole backstory, which I love to do, so I get that. After you shared, I'd like you to think about what felt similar in what we shared. What were some of the similarities we experienced in in our imposter thoughts? What stood out as unique? Then also, how did it feel to name and speak these thoughts out loud? What is it like to just talk about them? We're going to move into another breakout here with the goal of noticing, naming, and normalizing. So that's it. And we'll go into that five minutes. We'll take five minutes to do that. Great. You can start.

Kristeen Barth

90 seconds. Do you want to give them one more minute? You got to give them one more minute. You have someone in the waiting space. Talk this from basically... It's just time to talk.

Kristeen Barth

. We've got about a minute left. So 60 seconds left to wrap up.

Kristeen Barth

All right, we're going to bring it back to the big group again. All right. All right. I'd love to hear from a few of you what that was like to share in your groups. You don't have to share the details of what your triad had, you know, you don't have to talk about their intimate details, but just what was the experience like for you to talk about that? Who wants to share? We can take. Yeah. Yeah, yeah. So for those of you on Zoom, I think it might not be easy for you to hear that. So I will do my best to summarize what Jackie shared, which is that it was empowering to hear. There's a lot of powerhouse women, especially, but also we've got some men here in this group, and to know, oh, they're also having some of these thoughts, right? And also noticing that there's a lot of perfectionism showing up in the room. Yeah.. Yeah. I never want to reduce someone's experience to, Oh, yeah, I feel that, too. But a lot of times there's a through line like, Oh, it's similar and your experience is unique, but we can relate in some way, which I think is really...

Kristeen Barth

It is empowering, right? It's like, Oh, I mean, I started off by sharing, Here's this lovely life I have with these beautiful pets and this wonderful trip I took, and all of that. And there's all kinds of doubt and mishaps that go on in that life. So we do see a lot of the outward picture often looks really different. Yeah. So comparison for sure. Right? Like, everyone sitting around this meeting table also has doubts, right? But we're all putting on this face often. There's a lot of energy that gets spent there, too. A lot of energy trying to show up in a certain way to hold some of that back. I really appreciate you sharing that. But It's all over. Yeah. Our mind has so many thoughts in any moment, and lots of them are not empowering. A lot of them are very challenging. You've named your inner critic. You've gotten clear about the words they speak to you, the through line that they have. I'd like to introduce you to another powerful voice within you, your inner leader. This This is a part of you that sees your strengths. It sees them with clarity and very clearly, and it reminds you of your capabilities.

Kristeen Barth

We'll take a few minutes to do a visualization. I'm going to guide you through a visualization to connect with that voice for you. Now, for some of you, I know that there are some people that don't see or hear voices in their head. If that is you, that is okay. Don't push your way through this. There's nothing wrong with you. Just be with the experience. Whatever comes up, comes up. So again, I'm asking that you... Yeah, I love it. Okay, this is just such a gift for yourself, right? There's nothing to do, nothing to achieve. Just be here. You're just going to receive my words and just let whatever comes, come, and I will guide you through the whole thing. All right. So get comfortable. We'll only be here for a For a few minutes. I promise it won't be too long. Take a slow, deep breath in. You're welcome to close your eyes again. Soften your gaze. And as you exhale, let your shoulders drop. One more deep breath, releasing any tension that you notice. Maybe relax your jaw, soften your shoulders, maybe move your neck around a little bit. Yeah. Allow yourself to settle here.

Kristeen Barth

Now, imagine a place that feels completely safe and supportive. You don't have to know where it is. Simply let it come to you. Notice what's around you, colors, objects, sounds, maybe even a scent in the air. This place is just for you. As you take in this space, you sense someone approaching. There's a warmth, a calm strength in the air. Your inner leader is coming into view, the wise, steady guide who has always been within you. Notice. Notice how they appear. What does your inner leader look like? What stands out about your inner leader? There are no rules here. Your inner leader can take any form. What matters is how their presence feels. Take a moment to greet them. Now begin a simple conversation with your inner leader. Ask them, what is important for me to know right now? If you could see what I see, What would you remind me of about who I am? What strengths, gifts, or qualities do you see in me that I sometimes forget?

Kristeen Barth

How can I connect more easily with your wisdom and support? And lastly, what is the name by which I will call you? Notice that the answers they share are not new. They are truths you have always carried within you. Your inner leader is simply helping you remember what you already know. Before you leave, your inner leader offers you a gift. Receive it. Notice its form, its energy, its meaning for you. Ask, what How would you like me to know about this gift? Take it in fully, trusting that it will stay with you whenever you need it. Now it's time to bring this meeting to a close, though your inner leader is always with you. Thank them for their presence, their wisdom, and their unwavering belief in you. Feel how grounded, capable, and supported you are in this very moment. Take a deep breath in and out. One more breath. Feeling yourself return to this room You can gently stretch, and when you're ready, open your eyes. Maintaining silence, take a moment to jot down what you experienced, what you noticed, felt, remembered, and the gift you received.

Kristeen Barth

I'm going to give you a couple of instructions before we head back into our triads. I'd like you to take turns sharing what came up for you in the visualization. You might talk about what your inner leader wanted you to know, what it reminded you about yourself, what it wanted you to remember, maybe any words, images or feelings that came up for you, how it felt to hear to that voice compared to your inner critic. Again, there's no fixing needed. If someone had a different experience from you or didn't have... There may be different... Someone had a very vivid experience, somebody not so much, that's all good. We're going to go into a five-minute discussion, have some conversation, and we'll come back and debrief.

Kristeen Barth

We're good. Yeah. Okay. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah Also, he's really beautiful. Yeah, so I like him. I'm really good. Sorry, he likes this. He's good. Yeah, so he's good. He was just good. And he was like, sorry. Exactly. He had a good moment. So, you know what I'm saying? He was good.

Kristeen Barth

Yeah. I think the final. I'm sorry. Yeah. Yeah. I'm sorry. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

Kristeen Barth

We'll bring the discussion back to the big room, to the full group. I'd love to hear from a few of you. You're welcome to share either your experience of the visualization or maybe your discussion, but just a little bit of, what was that like for you? What did you notice? What are you aware of? Yeah, great. You all sound like you're working on it. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. That's really awesome that all three of you. Yeah, we're like, and there's something like really, I don't know. There's something really cool about like, this is me. This is the me. Yeah. Right. I don't have to lean on someone else. Like, I've got this in me. And I love that this idea of remembering who you are, when you clear out the clutter of some of the other voices. Beautiful. Yeah. Calming and reassuring. That's good. That's what I was hoping for. Who else? Who else wants to share?. Yeah. Yeah. J. A. One.

Kristeen Barth

Yeah, that's great. That's great. So you didn't experience In the visualization, there wasn't something that came up, but you were able to create something that... Yeah. And you get to bring all the best parts because you've created it. You get to cultivate whatever it is that you want that's going to be the most empowering, supportive, It's super regenerative. You were sharing that you journal every day, and that really helps you cultivate this inner leader. I love that. What a beautiful practice. Beautiful. And thank you for sharing that because it's a totally different way to look at how you might find this inner leader and just being super resourceful and creative. Love it. Thank you. Yeah. Who can identify with like, maybe we don't do enough of that. How often do we really give ourselves the space to just not have to deliver something, not have to meet a need somewhere, but just to be with and let something flow through. Any other last shares before we move on? So thank you for leaning into those conversations. I think it's really helpful to... I mean, Athena is so about community, and so I love that we're able to be in conversation about this, not just...

Kristeen Barth

And I think, Athena, we grappled with the tough things all the time, and it's not just, what are the highs? What are the great parts? Let's have the celebrations, but also who's with me when things are challenging? And hopefully this is opening up, whether it's this group and or another group that you can continue these types of conversations with. So now you've connected with your inner leader voice, this wiser, more supportive self, this higher self. Next Next, we're going to use this practice to reframe those imposter thoughts. There's a place we're going here. Okay, the inner critic comes in, then we can connect with the inner leader. And now we get to work with that inner leader to see how we might shift from self-doubts to self-growth. Imposter thoughts are things like, and you all know this, but things like, I'm not ready for this, or, They'll see that I don't belong here. These thoughts, while they're common, they aren't who we are. They're simply messages that our inner critic is sending to us to keep us safe. We know that the inner critic just wants us in status quo because then it's predictable. Even if it's not great, I mean, how many times have you seen either yourself or someone else stay where they are and you're like, this job isn't really the right thing for me, but it's known.

Kristeen Barth

I mean, there have been studies done that show we don't go for something different because we want to be with something certain, even if it's not that great. So the inner critic is really trying to keep us in status quo. But the inner leader comes in. Our cultivated inner leader from all of our journaling comes in and says, Hang on. You know you want that thing, and we know you can get it, and we know how you can get it. So your inner leader is going to take those thoughts like, I'm not ready for this, and switch it over to, This is a stretch, but I've overcome challenges before. I've got some really unique strengths and gifts that I can apply to this, or, I procrastinate too much, to, I'm really thoughtful in my choices, and I can take one more step forward. So I'd like you to take a couple of minutes to rewrite. So on your worksheet, at the top, you had inner critic thoughts. From the voice of your inner leader, rewrite those phrases in a way that feels empowering supportive, creative. How might you shift those to self-growth thoughts? No breakout.

Kristeen Barth

No cold. No breakout. You can stand down. You're so ready.

Kristeen Barth

Now that you've practiced reframing inner critic statements from the wisdom and support of your inner leader, we're going to move Keep this another step forward. As we go there, we're going to debunk a couple leadership myths that show up over and over in the work that I do in my own experience, my own life. The first one is, asking for help makes me seem weak or incompetent. This shows up all the time where people are like, I don't want to ask for help because then they'll know I don't know something, or if I ask the question. And there's a couple of ways I think about this, we can ask for help in a helpless way. Boss, I don't know what I'm doing. I have no idea. Here, take it. Save me. That's probably what we think of when we think about, I can't ask. You can also walk in and say, Boss, here's what I know. I know these things. I don't know these things, and I'm clearly responsible for taking this forward. Help me find the right next resources. There are ways that you can show up energetically that very much change that away from this helpless, I don't know, I can't solve this, to it's mine and I could use some support.

Kristeen Barth

I'd like to shift there. I also think that seeking help is a sign of courage. It's a sign of I'm confident enough that I can ask for help, and I got this. You're not going to find me out. There's nothing to find out. I'm missing some information or I could I use a little assistance here. I'm moving into a place that's new for me. It also builds trust. For me, when I'm working with people who are willing to say, Hey, there's a part I don't know, is very different than the energy of, Well, I'm just going to keep moving along and see what works out. We know we don't really trust that person. We're like, They never ask. They just want to wash over some things. So I also think it builds trust. Any takes on that? Yeah, A couple of head nods like, yeah, I see that. Okay. Feedback is another thing that can be really scary for leaders. Oftentimes we feel like feedback shows up as a threat. We perceive it as a fact and something we absolutely have to act on. And so much of the time as I was a manager, I remember telling my employees, I'm going to give you some feedback.

Kristeen Barth

You can do something with it or not. You have to own the consequences, but you do not have to do what I tell you. There may be consequences to that, and that's okay. So I love for you to think about how your inner leader could experience that feedback and say, can I filter this first? There's lots of tools within feedback. First, you can just say, thank you. Thanks for the feedback. And leave it at that. You can, and then you can go do whatever you want with it later. You get time, you get space. So often we also think that the minute something is shared with us, we must respond, we must react, we must chant, we have to be in conversation. And you can also just say, Thank you for that. I need to I think about it. I also think that feedback comes from someone else's perspective, and it's given after the thing has played out. I mean, I have tons of feedback for myself already about how this has been going. Well, great. But I didn't have that information before I started. So it is a little bit of an unfair advantage to come up to someone and say, You really should have put that slide before this one.

Kristeen Barth

Great. How would I have known that yesterday? I see it now. Is it really feedback or just information? So I think being able to understand that it's coming from someone's perspective. And we all have different things that are important to us, things that we clue into, pay attention to. So it doesn't mean that it has to be fact for you. When you feel a deep resistance. I mean, I've gotten some feedback where I'm like, Oh, hell, no. That is not. That's not true. It's been really helpful for me to step back and say, Is there a 10% truth in there? Is there something for me to learn? That doesn't feel so threatening to me. It's like, okay, maybe. I could see why maybe that came up. Or in this scenario, sure. It also helps depersonalize it a little bit. So there's a couple of ideas around feedback. But I think when we energetically, we hear feedback and we tense up and we want to resist and not let it in, it almost makes it worse. So being able to just soften into it, I still get to be choice. The last one here that I love is success.

Kristeen Barth

I can only claim success if I did it all by myself. How many times have you tried to get the kids here, do this, get the promotion, juggling all the things. There was never a trophy at the end that was like, Oh, yeah, you did it all alone. There was never that trophy for that. So success is something that we get in community. Nobody has done it alone. I mean, there are things where you may feel like I had an unfair share of that, but you probably didn't do it alone. We're a culmination of all the experiences and interactions that we've had with many people over the years. So letting go of that myth that I have to do it alone, I think, can be really freeing. And here, hopefully, is an example of, and I can even talk about some of the things that I'm going through. And as I overcome that, I know that I have that community around me. Yeah. Those are a couple of things that show up regularly in terms of the coaching I do, the work with leaders, and then, of course, my own experience of reminding myself, when do I ask for help?

Kristeen Barth

Have I done that recently? How can I make this a little easier? What feedback? Because we want to seek feedback, but also know that I get to filter that. And then, do I have to do this by myself or can I get some support? And that might just be a listening ear. And it might be someone to share half of the project plan with. So it can be lots of things. I'd like you to think about an action that you are willing to take, not one you might take or you think about taking. We've all been to the workshops. Yes, you have a question.

Kristeen Barth

Yeah. I love what you're bringing up because it's like we're over indexing on somebody outside of ourselves that must know more than we know about ourselves and our whole situation, which is not possible. And so if we can shift that to, why doesn't my inner leader get a voice in this? Where's the part where I get an opinion? I love that perspective. I also see as you were talking, and maybe hadn't coalesced this thought before, there's myth, and then there's like, I'm in a relationship. So on the right-hand side, I also see This is being in relationship with people versus I'm not. I want to build walls. I want to separate us. And on the other side, it's like we can have a conversation about the feedback. It doesn't have to be me versus you. Good. Thank you. Mel Robbins. I know we love her, looking at Annalisa. So your doubts create mountains and your actions move them. So we're going to move into some action, because as leaders, We want to have an impact. We're trying to be responsible for the worlds we live in, both the personal world you live in, the work that you are doing.

Kristeen Barth

So many of us here on this call in this room are doing really, really important work in this world. So we need to express that in some way, bring our actions out into the world. So I want you to think about an action you're willing to take. You're committed, I'm going to do a thing. So you're willing to take in the next few days to move forward in your area of focus. So you have some information on your sheet, some doubts that showed up, maybe some inner leader wisdom that reframed some of those doubts, and maybe have something completely separate from those thoughts that you want to take action on, but something you're willing to act on. I want you to think about that, and then we're going to move into our final discussion for Tried, where we share that. So take a moment, think about what action are you willing to take? And I encourage you not to... Don't make this too big. I'm sure you didn't come here wondering what you were going to do for the rest of the week because you just got nothing on your plate. So feel free to find something that feels doable, meaningful, but like, yeah, I could make that happen this week.

Kristeen Barth

Could be a phone call, could be reaching out for help, soliciting some advice, taking a yoga class. There's lots of different options. So give yourself a moment there. Hey, Annalisa, we'll move into breakout rooms. We'll just do... I'll give instructions quick, but maybe three minutes in breakout. Wait, I'll give instructions and I'll let you know. As If you go into the triad discussion, I want you to share what action you're willing to take, what you're committed to doing, and who your accountability partner will be. It can be someone in your triad. So if you feel like, Hey, we had a really great connection, I'd love to exchange some contact info. Amazing. That's where we're here for us also to build community. If you are like, Hey, I've got somebody else in my life. We already have this relationship. Great. Use that. But we know that success in reaching our goals increases when we have a your vulnerability partners. So you're going to have that conversation. As you listen to each person share their action, again, there's no fixing. We have to find a better action for you. You just need to listen. If someone's stuck Maybe you do offer a little bit of brainstorming, but this is going to be pretty short, a brief three minutes.

Kristeen Barth

A quick share, and we'll come back and wrap up. Yes.

Kristeen Barth

I can see what it is. It could be something different. It could be something. Just working on it with 200% to see that it's still all the same. It's not right to ask. It's not right to ask. It's not right to ask. It's not right to ask. Yeah. I don't think it's going to work with the family. I think it's not right to ask. I think that's what we're doing now. I think we're doing not anything. I think we need to know. But now, it's not what we're doing. We ask her if I could give you a second of my hand. I'm just so excited because I think that's what we're going to do. Well, and then the other thing, it also seems to be nice. Yeah. It's for why. It's for me to see more stuff. Yeah. It is. You're right. Every day is different.

Holly Smithson

Yeah.

Kristeen Barth

Right. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. That's our buzzer to come back. Yeah. So we'll bring the discussion back to the big room. I know that probably went by really quickly. I know. We started today talking about imposter syndrome. But you saw it's really just imposter thoughts. This is something we can work with. It's something that can be fuel for growth. I hope that you feel you've been left with a habit, a habit that you can use over and over, which is first notice the inner critic and choose your inner leader. And then lastly, Actually, act with confidence. Confidence follows action. We don't build confidence by sitting here talking about it. I think we get maybe a little bit, you're going to read up on something, but then all the big stuff really comes from being in action. And we look back and go, yeah, now I'm confident because I did that already. I'm confident because I did something really close to this. So hopefully, this is something you feel like you can use over and This worksheet is available to be used any time this comes up. I'd hate to leave you with nothing. So if you're interested and want to join my community, so you can join the Inner Edge Leadership Community, if you sign up for my email, I will send you an audio recording of the visualization, so you can tap back into that.

Kristeen Barth

I will also provide you with a I'm going to schedule a complimentary 30-minute coaching session if you'd like to go a little deeper. Maybe there was something you were working on, you thought, I just couldn't figure out how to transform this critic thought into something more powerful. Let's have a conversation. No expectations other than I just would love to offer you some additional support. As we close, I'm curious if anybody has just, what are you walking away with? A thought, something, a new awareness? If anybody wants to share, I'd love to hear how you're feeling now. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah Now I feel like I have what it takes to switch that when I can notice it, switch it, and then, yeah, love that. Yay. Yeah, nice. So the ability to reconnect with the inner leader and then use the tools Yeah, good. Great. Yeah, hey, Cathy. For your purpose, maybe. Yeah, right. Nice. Was there another hand up? Okay. Great. Well, thank you. Thank you.

Holly Smithson

That was amazing. That was fantastic. Thank you so much. And I just want to close out tonight's program and share with you my one of the most profound revelations from Kristen talk tonight. I think all of us have always understood that we're going to be doing this dance with that inner critic because it seems like it's been a constant. And what I heard tonight was the notion that we have to understand why do we have that inner critic. What is the why? The why is I'm here to keep you safe. And that revelation to me anytime I have, you're not good enough. That wasn't perfect. You could have done it bigger, better, better, Holly. And now I actually get to meet that inner critic with more empathy and say, you're just trying to keep me safe, girl. That's all you're trying to do. And this goes back to the caveman. This goes way back. Fear has a critical role in our survival. And so honoring the inner critic, knowing her why. My inner critic's name is Nelly, and we're just trying to keep you safe. That's all, girl. And so when I hear it, when she comes up on my shoulder, whenever she comes up and tries to lead the room, I say, Nelly, have a seat.

Holly Smithson

I'm safe and I'm good. And I was whispering in the back of the room, and I was just telling Andrea, and I'm like, that is so beautiful as I look to learn how to dance with my inner critic. So very profound. Thank you so much. Very beautiful, very elegant presentation. I expect nothing less. So thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you, everyone. I also just want to say I really, really appreciate appreciate the vulnerability that was on display tonight. I learned a lot from when people stand up and are vulnerable, shedding tears, talking about, I couldn't find mine.

Kristeen Barth

He was nowhere to be found. So I cultivated that bad boy.

Holly Smithson

I have to tell you, when we do that, I'm just getting chills. I mean, it just makes me feel so privileged to be here right now with all of you. So thank you a big, not only to Kristen, but to all of you. Thank you for investing in yourself and sharing. Thank you. Thank you.